How To End a Casual Relationship Without Revealing Yourself a Sexual Predator
Something People Need to Understand
I’m skipping the math and telling it straight and if you can’t take it and think I’m just mean or need help… I laugh. I’ve been traumatized again and again by poly-lying, love-denying, friend-pretending, fake relationship anarchists and trans allies who use the notions for sex.
You cannot end a relationship with a single message that includes lies for your departure. You may not know yourself lying—compartmentalization happens. We need to have conversations and mediate hurt from the ending of friendships or love affairs. If you consciously lie your way through and out the door of a sexual relationship you are a predator.
Single prescriptive goodbyes are unacceptable when a relationship has had any expressed component of plan-making or dream sharing. Some people’s hearts and minds can’t handle it. Lots of people. Lots of women.
You can’t let someone walk away needing you to hear the truth—not understanding you already do but just lied and gaslit them so you could walk away feeling good about yourself, or let them think themself the only one to understand the nuance of the situation, or to leave each other equally lost.
I’m a meditation instructor gone wrong. I’m a healer. I’m broken by one bitch, and then every other user who exploits me this way to trust them for any number of relationship configurations. I need unique people because I’m a unique person. They are on medications already—some of them—for mediating symptoms that came from rejecting this healing with others in the past.
Now that I’m traumatized with them. The expectation, always, proven again today with a newfound ally turned hardened ignorant idiot—is that I should get help. I have help. I have lots of it. It’s these people and what they do that is killing women. It’s predatory and a hand-me-down of misogyny’s greatest failure—rape—reborn through lies and deceit and made somehow worse because you’re then broken by it and sent back to work on pills, made into the problem yourself by all of society who are complicit.
We’re killing each other.
I’m dying because I tell people I love them when I do, and I explain how my definition is different but that doesn’t matter. They say—you’re in limerence.
I know what love is—it’s simple. Everyone debates the meaning in their mind. What is love? What is real love? What is true love? That’s stupid.
It’s nothing but what you mean when you say it.
I enjoy you. I’m happy. I’d like you to know you mean something to me, and I want to try and have more of these moments.
To end relationships on this. To gaslight women everywhere with hurt hearts into thinking their love is something wrong, ‘limerence,’ it’s killing people. Psychiatrist’s ideas twisted and wielded by sexual predators in denial are killing people.
Women who have children just die inside-out, over again until they break.
For this to so often be the reason for that unacceptable single message goodbye—oh, boy. What is wrong with people? We all support them. You do—I don’t. The lies they tell to not admit they feel exactly what they do because a woman has dared to speak her truth on the most simple and powerful word to express trust—it’s horrendous.
There is an epidemic of progressive-thinking people these days who do not see their complacency to what this is. It’s emotional abuse. In relationships of a sexual nature, it can prove a telling of sexual abuse. If you lie to people who love you and fuck them because you want to lie your way out—you are a rapist by extrapolated definition.
We need to stop killing each other and be honest.
I can’t die because I broke my honesty container. You all just need to do better and step up to the fucking plate. I’m going keep being honest. I want to die here. And it’s not getting better. No one can handle honesty—the expressed belief of what you feel to be true.
Everyone lies. Everyone but me speaks on behalf of consensus and others and not of their own truth. Everyone compartmentalizes and that’s lying to. We need to account for it in ourselves. We’re lying to ourselves and it’s killing us all.
People won’t even tell you when they disagree about something and just look at you funny. It’s cowardly. We need to learn from speaking with people we care about when we disagree on important notions.
Within my attempts at relationship, people just hold it—they judge you—then deliver a message which makes it about you and obfuscates what they really felt, and wanted, and have done. Often foreshadowing cruel hope and leaving depressed people in waiting and longing, creating broken puppets ripe for the continued abuses of other unconscious predators made heroic boundary-holders in their minds.
When someone is consciously lying about these things—uses people for sex, knowing themself a liar—then discards them with a message of lie—they are a sexual predator; they are a rapist.
*ALMOST EVERYONE - That’s why I see this most.
I’m a rape victim and the saddest part is the people I need healing with my rapists and I love them because I have a broken heart that never forgets what people feel like inside.