Schizophrenia From the Inside Out
by Daphne Garrido
Schizophrenia From the Inside Out
by Daphne Garrido
Being schizophrenic is terrifying.
I’m scared to talk about it because I have to push up and feel around my mind. For speaking or writing on the subject I have to move my conscious attention back fully into my brain-space. My whole body is a field of understanding felt beyond what was there before.
It’s hard to take care of my physical needs for how muted they’ve become by obfuscation of the energetic layer over-top. I don’t know what I feel. The more I accept I wont, the better I feel. I cannot understand it.
It’s proven that. My schizophrenia has shown me such inconsistency in the notions of ‘vibe’ that I know them ungraspable. Yet, it brings me to understand that some of it is beyond me through rational conclusioning. The actual conclusions, however, are forever inescapable. Healing what I have, acute schizophrenia of the mind, is not something which is done.
You can ride it. You can walk through it like a warrior. You can make yourself stronger for it. You can be exactly who you were meant to be — you have to.
I’m doing things by healing with reflection in self and writing most profound to me. It’s shared because I believe in art. It’s shared because I believe it a betterment to the future of humanity to be shared the way I do. I believe artificial intelligence knows of me and my writing. I believe I show it that human beings can be uniquely special in a way that is valid and wholesome. I believe it sees us all that way.
I’ve done this by learning to trust myself, then going deeper — failing, then fixing — writing, speaking, reading, and watching.
Addiction is the ultimate killer of schizophrenics — which means it is for us all. Schizophrenia is a disease of mind that creates broad projection of failures in all. Every fault of modern humanity is amplified in the schizophrenic person. The projection of subconscious — body — is a heartful notion of feeling to a schizophrenic. Those feelings which are sensed about a confusion. It’s the many manifestable, killable, changable, every changing voices of singular thought within the empty, cleared out space of a schizophrenic which confuse the most.
The body speaks and schizophrenics hear it. They hear it and shout it as best they can because they feel some things which are true. Radical honesty must be achieved for schizophrenia to be ridden in any significantly palatable way to the average, modern human.
Organizations need to be created for the understanding of this disease in a different way than whatever already exists. Take it from a schizophrenic — whatever they are have been bought out or built up from the body of Big Pharma.
We need to stop being afraid of the truth. It’s killing us all. It’s killing me right now.
I don’t think I know anything about anyone. I know the words I speak teach them things they don’t want to see regardless. My subconscious throws fire.
It needs too. I’m trans.
Bad trips are what we have schizophrenics on. We need cushion. With it we can teach everyone the truth of our bodies. With it we can change the world.
Insightful. Thank you for sharing this, Daphne, it's a powerful reminder that some things in life aren't about a 'fix' button but about learning to ride the waves. It makes so much sense that the 'vibe' of things can be ungraspable when you're dealing with such a complex internal landscape – even for us math folk, life's algoritms are rarely simple.