The Foundry | Part Two | Rebuilt; Refound; Reclaimed
the complete second part of my forthcoming novel
The Foundry
by Daphne Garrido
Part Two | Rebuilt; Refound; Reclaimed
Part Three | Dominion
Notes from Daphne:
Wow. Part Two was a ride and a half. The story managed to go exactly where I knew it was, but somehow in the least expected way possible.
Long ago I heard it explained what the essence of quality storytelling can be boiled down to, at least, when it comes to satisfying dramatic conclusions. This Pulitzer prize winning author and playwright had broken it down quite plainly. They’d said a satisfying dramatic conclusion is when something happens which is both unexpected in the moment it’s revealed to the audience, to later feel like the only and obvious choice.
There is so incredibly much I’m in love with about this story. Still, I think my favorite over-aching element is the subversion of the typical urge to have characters in these adventurous sci-fi/fantasy, romantic coming of age stories, do terrible things and then not give them due credit.
The way this manages to have Echo do some of the very worst things imaginable, to spend so much time explaining the breadth of the horror regarding what’s actually been done, then find an honest and earned forgiveness seems unique.
I’m going to go chapter by chapter on this one.
Chapter Thirteen
What a joy. I was so thrilled at the way this one came out. The ease of humor shared between Alan and Echo is something I’m so glad makes the translation from reality to fiction, along with the way he seems to bring such of a fun side out of her.
Still, sometimes when I’m mid writing flow I will resist things coming through because my mind will worry about how they are going to make sense. That happened on this one as Echo cut her shit to expose the broadside and he’d sent a force blast her way.
Such a joy of discovery when that all panned out to be so cool with the pre-emptively charged defensive reaction shielding.
Then the way she teased Alan, and it so smoothly worked in all the interesting backstory with Chiron and sprinkles of info about Alan and Echo felt well balanced.
I couldn’t have been more happy for this to be the starting point of the part. I was excited for some grounding into a solid relationship for Echo after that whole first part amounting to her having a friendship with Leopold and then purest chaos everywhere else.
Chapter Fourteen
I’ve had that ‘Dual of the Fates’ Star Wars cover on my list for a while, and when I got this idea — quite excited to do some sci-fi club action — that came through as the one to use, and was joined by all of these ideas in how it might be where Rory and Echo finally came to meet each other.
I kept wanting to carve ahead though, and really had to resist the urge to do too much too fast. I wanted to draw the building rivalry out through this whole part and not escalate so fast there was nowhere to go.
It’s almost funny — out of all the terribly emotional and personal things squeezed into this entire story — the stuff that came out about Echo’s experience receiving the energies of bigotry from cisgendered women has been the one which got to me most. It drew up some very legitimate unseen anger within me. I didn’t want to have the story get twisted and mean beyond repair, so, I just when on a belligerent Threads rampage for like 24 hrs and then came back to it.
There was sadness in that anger too. Which was the harder part to unpack. Had nothing to do with Rory, and everything to do with the fact I’ve never had what Alan gave to Echo in that chapter for myself.
Good reflections all around. Go art.
Chapter Fifteen
This is where the trend began of writing things people might not feel surprised to be coming, but with a more than surprising tone. I thought this was an interesting chapter of plot to focus on the softening of Echo and some of her more venerable backstory.
That had just been a focus of me coming out of Fourteen. Knowing the plan was to escalate, escalate, escalate in whatever fucked up means I could. I still knew with Alan in her life the way he is at this point, and all the healing she’s clearly undergone by the state of her energy in those chapters, no thing Rory did would draw out a truly calloused and mean spirited counteraction.
Still, sending a porn video directly like that would be the most the fucked up thing. And it felt like Echo would acknowledge there needed to be some response, especially in that forementioned state of mind she was — being tired as fuck — great mistakes have been made in my own life during those times.
I’d had this fucked up idea for a while, including the inevitable mention or Echo watching it for some super twisted self-pleasure session. Originally, that idea came when I was working through Part One, so with the way that part had been completely unhinged in terms of Echo’s unprocessed rage, I’d thought it would be played for sickest immersive psychological horror/dark humor. (my vibe, apparently)
Glad it came out slightly more palatable to my tummy.
Chapter Sixteen
This one was so much fun to write. I love the ones where the omniscient narration is being a clever bastard, as well as the times when Echo is so completely without a clue how to deal with what she’s just done.
There was a part of me that wanted to integrate both the seen and unseen of Echo into these few chapters, since I knew she wasn’t going to have a plot space to unpack them with another bipolar trauma swing.
The way this story jokes its way into the most terrible and completely horrific things imaginable is… something.
A movie called Funny Games by a genius German filmmaker - which he literally remade shot for shot in English without changing a thing himself (badass; ‘I did right the first time’). Was a social art piece that crafted this sadistically funny looking scenario in its trailers to draw audience members to watch it excitedly. Then proceed to have the vibe some of these chapters has that is so psychologically challenging. Where there is a darkest humor in it, but the straight-faced nature of the narrative, in terms of facing the true horror of it all, causes the audience to wonder why the fuck they like horror movies at all.
When I said I was writing a Fourth Wing killer, and subverting this genre, I didn’t know that’s what I meant I was doing. lol. Trying to have our cake and eat it too with this one though. In Funny Games that director was just like, ‘There is no cake here you idiots.’
Chapter Seventeen
I was remarkably okay writing this. I didn’t even cry at the parts the story had Echo queuing to do so. Good chapter to choose micro-dosing on, perhaps, also kind of an unfortunate one. Really, genuinely, just tried to make this the most horrendous thing I could personally imagine for myself after I’d devised the plan and finally come to accept it.
It really is a lynchpin in moving the story forward and seems — setting the emotional stakes for the entire second half of the book — as this event really catalyzes events at the end of this part into a will for action between Rory and Echo.
Truly thought the bit at the end was beautiful. Despite how odd it was again to play such escalating horror for softness. That was a most healing an alchemical chapter to write, honestly.
Felt big swaths of that remnant boy-ego which remains beneath get drown along with her in that bit.
Daniel is the name my parents always told me they ‘almost’ named me. I know this is far beyond what real life Rory would ever do or say or hope to perpetrate upon me, it was a function of the story and a way to explore certain ways in which that relationships end had made me feel like.
Chapter Eighteen
I choose to write this directly after the last chapter, without processing or integrating that terrifying healing I’d received in writing it. Choosing to by kind of with Echo emotionally as she was so entirely detached from the gravity of what she was doing. Again, this is an extreme plot device to explore real mistakes I make.
I was really excited to write her daze. I’ve had that song from Hereditary forever. Like, ‘when are we getting this fucked up!’
I’d known immediately upon writing this I would be unpacking the depth of her mistake for a long time. Didn’t realize it would be the entire rest of the series. That makes sense though — its how it should be.
Chapter Nineteen
I tried doing the discordant vibe thing again with this, allowing that tricky bastard narration to do most of the exploration of how horrible Echo’s actions truly were by unpacking more with the AI’s, while she was just concerned about protecting her ass.
The more I’d have come through about Bliss, and the nature of these intelligences, and thought about the reality of her trying to pretend that wasn’t her, I was as overwhelmed as Echo was. I really had to feel this chapter out with her.
Like, ‘What the fuck have I done,’ was also my own reflection.
Just cut out a lot of work for me to earn redemption for this bitch after literally murdering an angel.
I loved the way this ended so much. The whole little fight was great. It felt like the other mysterious answer I was looking for had perfectly resolved; what the would Rory even do? That felt right, lol.
The way that chair smashed the table and the whole fight was played so tightly through Echo’s perspective felt golden.
Chapter Twenty
Oh.. Chapter Twenty. I was dying the whole time writing this. Really had trouble typing I was laughing so hard.
This whole time I’ve been so scared my writing flow is going to insist I include all the dream shit from my baggage which got pumped into Justiceers ENDLESSLY. So, I took this opportunity to have as much fun with it as possible.
The vocabulary choices are my favorite. Every time I said ‘little bunny something’. OMG.
That tiara! The pellet!
“I’m great.”
Oh god… I love it so much. And the way it plays into her having this perfect way around the fact she’d never have been able to hide that shit, along with how nice she’s being, and then crying at the idea of what she’s actually done.
This was perfect. The story needed a shot in the arm of some comic relief after all the psychological horror. Still, this chapter definitely included some in its own right.
Chapter Twenty One
From here on out I knew the whole rest of the part basically, and was just trying to set up everything to come, along with continue to round out Alan’s character, and spend even more time unpacking what Echo had done. Not to mention move through the period of time where she got her memory back.
It was a lot at once, but I’m happy with how it gelled. And I knew the end touch I was working towards the whole time.
Chapter Twenty Two
I’m not going to lie. 8 Mile’s rap battle came across my feed the other day and it was like ‘ding’. Light went off. I’d been listening to that song as a means to work towards this moment in the story, wanted to really capture the essence of its empowering vibe.
Lots of cool stuff in here. I was trying to make it badass. And was both intimidated and then stoked afterwards to include the Rory perspective. That was very needed for the stakes however, and this part certainly ‘ceded some of her coolness to the audience’ by how mean she was. So, she’s on her own redemption arc.
I thought it was cool that Echo got Rory over so completely in Part One. Then Rory gave it back in Part Two, but into balance rather than a great swing the other way. Never once through this did I feel Rory losing my respect like Echo constantly did.
The part with the faculty is my favorite evolution on the way this story is making her continued existence at The Foundry, plausible despite her great mistake. It also is another of these great few examples through the story which have commentary on the way we view education as such a hierarchical thing. I never vibed with my schooling the way it was, and have lots to say about mentors and gurus and the fact were all equals who gatekeep due to superficiality. We fail to learn from each other because of lies we tell about who has authority, when its all of us.
That ‘Daniel’ is GOLD. I loved all the little details in this. Leopold being there, and why he was. The Orator’s vibe, and especially the way the faculty chose to make it an event.
I was surprised to feel I earned plausibility with the way I worked out how they’d get to the situation.
Chapter Twenty Three
I didn’t know at all what was going to happen in this one. I had been all focused on the hype. I just knew what was to come at the very, very end with it being cut short, and what that would be leading to in a broad sense.
Chapter Twenty Four
Love that we’ve finally escaped this earliest portion where it’s strictly infighting. I’ve know this was coming since the beginning. Honestly, a part of me starting to write this story had thought it would come in like the fourth chapter of the whole book, and war would be a backdrop to the entire second-education of Echo.
Glad I had patience though. This was a perfect way to burn away those unhealed bits which might be hard to imagine Rory or Echo letting go of, so they might move into this last section as allies.
I’ve been so happy throughout this book that I get to have more dialogue and characters. Dialogue has always been something I felt very good at writing. I’ve written so many screenplays it hurts.
Justiceers was just unique. I was like an expositional journal of Miriam, and that made the whole thing highly focused in both that exposition and action.
Honestly, even this story has far more of that than your average these days. So many authors take what I consider the lazy route and have their characters define themselves through dialogue, and also place great swaths of exposition into it. I genuinely feel like they don’t do it because it’s hard to write like I am. It hurts your brain sometimes to work it all out, and its a constant challenge to make it readable.
Still, even in my own exposition heavy writing, I’m constantly working to find means in which I might transfigure the bits which I just tell plainly about the character’s psychology into actions I can explain which will illuminate that through implication.
That’s the name of the game with screenwriting. You can’t just tell the audience stuff in a movie for them to know, like you can in a book. So, I’ve been trained to appreciate the virtue of ‘show not tell’.
I’d say I’m going to take a little break before Part III, but I’m probably not! Lol
Lastly, I’ve very fond of the way this Part’s title came into play, and the direction this is heading. Excited to build something where these characters can thrive as badasses working together instead of just tearing each other apart.
SPOILER ALERT: It’s Alan’s family.