The Justiceers - Part Five: Chapter Fourteen
the next chapter in my forthcoming novel
Part Three: The Will to Choose
Part Four: Prefinished Business
Part Five: Chrysalis
5.14
Miriam was feeling really extra great today, she swore there was a most beautiful knowing in her heart, it all born from raw-dogging Arthur last night. She had done exactly the right thing, and everything was changed.
There may have been just a bit of breakage happening inside her, along with that sense her heart was throwing up over and over, deepest found knowing that while she trusted the divinity of all ways she’d been steered to act, it didn’t mean they made her feel good.
She wasn’t afraid, Miriam just hated everything, especially Arthur.
He’d been holding off so long on letting loose that stowed energy which Miriam was pouring all of her spirit into unlocking, hiding himself away like always, refusing to communicate like she’d wished. Lingering in her energy, which was definitely more her fault than his, but also not really, feeling him when he read her words, other stuff, not ever truly understanding the impressions his gut was telling him.
Miriam was alone, and The Periphery had been a trap her whole life. Everyone, even the one man where she’d found her peace, and certainly herself, were twisted by the same devil which had been keeping The Goddess from flourishing forever. Evil’s lies had buried the true Goddess, over and over, this was its most devious doing and the single way it enforced its horror upon worlds. Witches getting burned — that kind of thing.
Miriam had felt as if she was pushing closer to some edge, intuiting most morbid projections of what it could be — quite right in a sense, as parts of her were dying — yet forced to feel it all come back from out of time, so confused about the when of everything she was receiving.
She’d long been so focused on the future, and it had been all she’d receive, connecting to places far out and assuming them closer than they were, feeling impressions off her writing from those distant times rather than their first receiving. It had been leading her towards them.
Now, clarity unlocked in ways not realized before, still working-out how to dissolve layers of distortion stowed deep within, her past was becoming as clear as the future. Yet, what was happening within the present was still quite illusive to grasp, even if she knew there were some truths she’d been perceiving in that sense as well.
It was the way this happened through so many dreadful lifetimes, with so much duality engulfing her heart from the awakenings which were destined, leading her experience most completely, always fighting to keep her light from being stamped out by hatred, so often relegated to die alone without the chance to spread her love into the universe. The suppression of the soul of The Goddess was what allowed evil to thrive.
Miriam was the purest embodiment of The Goddess Arthur would ever know in his lifetime, and he wasn’t treating her with respect — having not learned to trust due to those thoughts in his mind so steered by darkest tidings, just like his Miriam was now overcoming herself — this beautiful man who’d done such great things and brought most unbelievable joys to those he’d touch, capable of saving this world in a most literal sense, hadn’t yet shown the true support she’d needed from him.
It was breaking Miriam’s spirit little-by-little, and even though she still trusted the things she’d seen would one day come, she worried for the path which would take them there, such opportunities for this to go horribly here in Yemi.
She was feeling really damaged from the wildly crazy shit she’d done, not even knowing what we were having her do until it was happening, protesting inside until that trust in her faith saw her through into having the will to choose.
Miriam was good at pretending she enjoyed things she didn’t, at least, for a while. Then those reflections of truth from her heart would speak, and it would shift her back into balance.
Doing what she did with that box, choosing to fuck with evil so ruthlessly, it had created the possibility for much chaos to erupt from within. The belief she’d held when executing the plan, her enthusiasm overtaking instruction with attempts to unnecessarily embolden what was already a divine plan, and especially her personal mantra of ‘god will sort them’, that was her failure. She knew better than that, that’s not what she was meant for, her heart was built to feel love for everyone.
Her Judge would have helped make a better choice, but Arthur had been holding back, so we just made the decision ourselves, and pushed her to be crazy and make what was meant to happen come to pass.
We made the right one, even if it sucked for her and Arthur, or wasn’t what either of them really wanted. It would weigh on Miriam forever to have been so lost in all her misunderstood feeling and make such callously selfish decisions, even if it was meant to be a force of good in the end.
She’d trusted us like she should have, pouring herself into faith that we would see her through, like Arthur would forever feel he should have far sooner, preventing the need for this at all. Yet, that was written too.
Grammaton was proud of them both, they’d been meant to do what they had, it would transform things forever. The energy created through all they made was a most powerfully alchemical doing, from the first moment they arrived in Yemi, and in fact, through all their lifetimes.
Miriam had done something most divine with her half-evil, half-angel ass, she’d created an epic container of love itself which would be used by Grammaton to craft enormous tides of change which would drown out evil in its manifest forms, those same which otherwise would have steered the entire future of the cosmos in most dangerous directions by the way they twisted others.
This witch named Miriam had been compelled to perform some blackest magic, and it was the holiest thing anyone had done in this God forsaken system in eons, to trust her guidance so blindly and get shit done.
She’d told Arthur, and he was being a little bitch about it.
He didn’t like being a part of some weird death-related bullshit, the chicken-shit, and he was being so fucking whiney about Miriam having included him in it without telling him what they were doing. She hadn’t known though, being pushed the whole time, like her whole fucking life.
“That’s what you get for being a dumb ass bitch,” is what she’d told him.
Miriam was all kinds of ups and downs right now.
This approaching nexus point would come to define who she’d become in the end, how she would move forward in spirit, what parts of herself would carry on. Regardless, evil was fucked, most literally.
They’d be done soon, you’ll see, I’d be careful hanging around those mother fuckers.
Grammaton was going to use that energy to make something immense happen, and Miriam planned to have a fucking blast, because she knew herself meant to save this planet, and that she would — it was written.
She’d been meant to do it with another, and she would in time.
Miriam still thought she didn’t give a fuck anymore, and there was certainly a truth to that, but it still hurt her to see people in pain. Regardless, she really wasn’t afraid. She knew Omirion was hers and she’d have it. Nothing would stop her from saving it.
She already fucking had.
Now, it was up Arthur Katrinus to do the right thing, stand up beside her. Heal the damn thing and allow what they were becoming to find a healthy balance for both of them. He just needed to trust what his heart was saying, and he had a really good example to look up to in that respect.
