The Justiceers - Part Four: Chapter Thirteen
the next chapter from my forthcoming novel
The Justiceers
by Daphne Garrido
Part Three: The Will to Choose
Part Four: Prefinished Business
4.13
Miriam Halafax had been awake for almost a cycle now in ship-time, feeling her body age and knowing it meant that she’d be that much older if she saw her Arthur again, who would still be so young.
She’d been dream-walking most abundantly, discovering worlds unknown, even finding Peidirò and walking the shores of Utega beneath the lunar sisters of Moria and Enius; such a home to her own soul.
It had been found where she was looking for Omirion, at the beginnings of time, perhaps the origin planet of the universe itself.
Miriam also found herself quite compelled to seek entertainment by this now controllable gift of freeform travel through time and space, from which she could now return to her body remembering all — so eager to revisit moments spent with Arthur in their lifetime of greatest pleasure and discovery.
Before he’d known at all how she felt, or who she was starting to understand they might be to each other on some higher level, Miriam had tried to communicate it in ways that might be received.
A vision came back, of herself on Arthur’s bed, telling of how she’d felt him as a family member beyond, in most plain words.
He’d pondered what that meant aloud, ‘like, we were each other’s moms or something like that?’
Miriam laughed quite heartily to hear her past self’s response in this retrospective vision, witnessing the awkwardness so apparent on her face he’d not been watching, with a coyness as she’d said it.
“Yeah, something like that.”
This had triggered the start of little adventure for Miriam, something she’d find most rewarding after these lifetimes lived aboard The Artimus, having been a curiosity she had even before they’d found each other again after their early separation — held so long in her memory as something she’d look back at from beyond.
Miriam had been still quite entangled in a past relationship when they’d first met, and her jilted ex had been so triggered by Arthur’s presence, enough so where he would ask Miriam why they found him a threat. He’d asked this so many times.
In every one of these distant memories, as she’d always known would be the case, those ‘fucking looks' on her face were priceless — choking, not to release a single breath, eyes wracked with guilt — she’d not even said real words in response most of those times.
That Miriam had seen things by then which wouldn’t be possible to explain to Arthur at that time. Beyond the pale of rationality, which nevertheless spoke to her heart so incredibly, yet felt absurd in the moments when they were together and she saw how little interest he seemed to have in her.
When he would ask that question, and especially for those moments afterwards as he’d continue to not look her way, Miriam could see that girl she was had known so deeply — portraying it in-full upon her face — she’d wanted a life with that man more than anything she ever had before, and it made the utmost sense for ‘that cunt’ to be threatened; ‘old-Miriam’s’ words.
Even that woman had dreams about Miriam and Arthur together, at least a few from the terrorized sound of the telling, and almost certainly of them fucking in her kitchen; a very best decision ever.
To see this all at last was a blessing to Miriam’s connection with who she was in her heart, and the life which however distant now through time, was the core of her being.
Pia had been sleeping in rotation, and not having seen her for such time during this travel was something Miriam would want to repair as soon as possible. Yet she’d been of great peace walking amongst the people of The Artimus, sharing her light to bear upon these newest companions and oldest friends.
Gary had lived through the entirety of time, to find himself integrated with this great ship as it turned backwards, agreeing to wipe large portions of his memory by the will of Admanium so he may take the journey.
Knowings of their great plan were not to ever be revealed.
Ever still, Miriam found herself wandering these halls, feeling an attachment born from the purpose which fueling this journey, only wanting to be with Arthur again; that whole reason she had done any of this.
The consideration of completing this journey, following the signs of her heart and purpose, to still never see him again — scared her so incredibly deeply, the thought of it tormenting her every waking moment — knowing how fundamentally that hope had grown into her the fabric of her body, aware of the pain which would erupt if it weren’t to be.
She’d been sleeping quite deeply lately, feeling most odd — expansions from her time within the systems of The Artimus ever ongoing, sensing more of space around her and herself within it, simultaneously present and disembodied — yet more the Goddess than she’d ever been.
-- -- had been in her dreams a lot.
One had even blessed Miriam with a briefest glimpse of that mysterious life from which she’d came, on that planet still unknown to her. Not much to take from it, there only being a few images to feel. Miriam was able to catch a glance of herself in that life however, who was remarkably similar in form, though she did find some jealousy rising within her; their body was ‘banging’.
Those dreams were precious to Miriam, they’d bring her back to her heart, help her remember what she was fighting for. This enemy they maintained such control over was still elusive and ungraspable of origin, its legion seemingly unending, the horrors it wrought through time of most insanely unthinkable purpose. There was no reason behind it all; it was just hatred.
All the pain and terror so spread throughout this great fabric of connected space-times was manifest into an army of the stars. They would destroy worlds for spite, even when they’d no need for resources, just to burn them.
Miriam hurt so badly in her heart for this, always asking Admanium — who she now could speak to within herself — why it was they allowed such terrible things in their universe.
They would not answer these questions, as always.
Her time aboard this craft had brought her to know this spirit of beyond the universe, surrounding the folds and layers which lie directly above; originating from some highest and most unknowable place.
If you did not respect it with a whole heart, it would not respect you. If you asked it dumb questions, you would get dumb answers. Yet if you met it with honor for your place within its control, and asked it to help you without attachment to receiving, admitting yourself the wandering soul within its grasp you happened to truly be — it would love you like the child of its own that you were.
Still, there were things which couldn’t be known. No one in this universe was permitted to see the plan, everyone on a journey of finding trust and letting go into their own heart’s spirit to flow with grace from within.
Miriam Halafax found it quite beautiful, to see what could be seen, and let go of what was not her place in this time to know.
She would do her best to trust the plan which she’d known herself so clearly a part, most highly aware of herself in the exact place and completing the most prescient tasks to accomplish her soul’s purpose, believing in the universe to deliver her from the horror she might create in her life by holding so tightly to that beautiful man she wanted nothing more than to throw herself into the arms of.
There was more she could do after this, the Goddess was now born within her, it felt a right to live with that light and make the entire universe a better place.
Still, something in her felt so sure of a thing she’d not want to admit to herself. Though it was terribly selfish, and flew so in the face of everything she knew about spirit, proving herself apart from actual realization of that trust she’d so believed she truly had in the plan of this all.
She’d held her love while separated from him for this greatest time at heart’s guidance, proving it to herself most real, and finding peace in the distance for great portions of the time. Yet in the end, when things ran their course, and everything had finally settled, with her children of The Artimus free to roam The Periphery she once knew; proving at longest last whether or not she’d ever see her love again.
Miriam knew she wouldn’t make it without him.
