Your Boundaries Are Bullshit
community is dead in a liar's world built upon male hierarchy
“Get help.”
“It sounds like you need help.”
“We’ll see better days.”
“I’m just so overwhelmed right now.
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These are a summation of the responses from people who were in intimate interpersonal relationship with me, after I said something they didn’t like, apparently, and gave me a prescription of goodbye constructed by lies I would not be able to decipher through any meaning except the way they were attempting to manipulate me into thinking myself at some fault for loving them, every time.
It’s an epidemic of people who manipulate the dating pool for sex and then gaslight them into depression.
They block or go quiet or whatever. I get around it and type. The more this happens the wilder I get immediately upon receiving the block which explains to me some false reason I’m being let go without anything that had been levied as promise for bedding me. I block back when I’ve said things I cannot handle a response from in my retrospect of sending. Then I unblock and reach out, for worse and worse and worse. Trying to reconnect for a corrective goodbye with someone in which precious love was shared—no matter what you might call compassionate care from one to another.
No one is being honest. Boundaries—uplifted by terrible fucking therapists—are seeing to destroy community and our hearts, pushing us all into addiction and blatant consumerism instead of friendships that would be healing. We take pills for people and gaslight anyone who is struggling with the way we treat others in this world—call them wrong—expect chemical adjustment the only solution when another won’t take our leaving’s needed place in their life. We leave people hanging then think them uncool for not making it alone.
People lie to themselves about the deepest things. They project. We are destroying each other. I am dying from the inside out and have been for years at the hands of every person I know except my daughter and my only slightly-less equally traumatized ex who did her best fighting for me despite the world’s taking-on transitioning and transitioned trans women as a cancer.
In my station I see many things worst. This is the worst.
Boundaries are horseshit. Break them. Get through. Don’t let them make you mad for knowing a conversation is better than a lifetime of drugs. Get your hugs while you can. Don’t care if people think you’re a predator because you’re a transgender woman. Fuck everybody in this shitty world who plays along and knows themself an exploiter of this system, letting kind people suffer and die.
Think to those you have known who’ve killed themselves. Think hard.
Who are they?
They were fucking angels. Every one of them.
