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Transcript

I Am Just a Retard

please consider helping me even if my actions have hurt your feelings

please consider helping me even if my actions have hurt your feelings


I am a mentally retarded person whom people are enjoying watching suffer.

While that is not all, it is some. My video made just a few days back where I boiled down into the saddest pile of disabled tears about facing prostitution, for survival, with cis men, has more views than anything else recently that I haven’t shared directly with many. People keep going back. More views today.

Whoever you are. I hope you’re enjoying the show while your heart and soul burn inside your calloused body of horrid maleficence to rightness. Watch out for your kitchen sink. That other arm might just accidentally hit the wrong button. Who knows, malfunctions happen all the time.


please consider helping me through this difficult time with a donation

My GoFundMe


Follow Of Darkness & Light on Apple Podcasts and Spotify


On How I Need Help - What Is Happening to Me


My Mental Disability and Meditation - I use a practice of meditation to clear myself, before exhibiting my executive dysfunction

On Schizophrenic Executive Dysfunction - By Grok for me

My Dream of a Recovery Home for Schizophrenics - Demystifying the truth of schizophrenia can save many poor people from cruelest fates


I’m looking for a patron to help me on publishing and writing endeavors. I’m willing to work things to astute recommendation or co-write to keep moving forward if the circumstances are correct.

I would like to write for the stage as well.


Complete-Pass Books


Justiceers - Chapter One (Space Opera Epic)

Human Fire Power - Chapter One (New Adult Killer; The Foundry Series)

Time Bellow Gasoline - Chapter One (Book Two of The Foundry Series)

Time Throws Fire - Chapter One (Book Three of The Foundry Series)


Unfinished Books


Epsilon Major ||| Race One - Let’s do Anti-Gravity Racing

Dead and Gone to Heaven - Chapter One (Science Fiction Bonnie & Clyde but Sapphic, Trans Inclusive, and Also a Groundhog’s Day type-deal)

Aura Asunder - Chapter One (Unfinished Magic School Takedown)

Princess Starlit & The Icon - Chapter One (Ocarina of Time Hamartia)

Xianthium - Chapter One (Space Robot War)

Miriam in the Middle - Chapter One (Unfinished Justiceers Sequel)

Time Destroys Everything - Chapter One (Unfinished Book Four of The Foundry Series)

Fortuna Eterna - Chapter One (Unfinished Book Five of The Foundry Series)

Terror From the Deep - Chapter One (Unfinished Sci-Fi Horror)

And She Fell - Chapter One (Unfinished Dark-Alice-Sapphic)

Ini & Oui - Hidden Chambers (First Short of Collection)

Beekeeper of the Dark - Caution (First Short of Collection, Transgressive, Psychological, Illogical Extreme Literature, Just Don’t)


Radio Plays


Vicky Darkblood - Read the play

Holy Sword - Read the play


Short Stories


Daphne - Heavy Warning - The True Daphne Mythology

Mary & Jesus - Mary was one bitch. The Gospels are hers but bastardized. Jesus just killed a dude. Get over it. That’s what dudes are for. Ladies used to let them take all the credit.

Hypatia of Earth - This is the best written short story I’ve done, in my estimation, after final edits and cleanup. Think of it as written by Miriam Halafax of the Justiceers for the title. It was going to originally be called Honor of Hypatia. But I wanted to give her ultimate hero of Earth vibes. This is what we’ve done wrong, over again, and I think Miriam would appreciate most the sacrifice for living earnestly despite. I do not think it undermines the story or her character to land on love in the end. It’s beautiful. She’s still just a woman.

Those Deepest Woods - This is the third short story I created after A Foot in the Door, and Radical Pair. It was months and months later, and when I knew I could write whatever I wanted. The Grimoire was next. My subconscious and me have been flowing with fiction-prose ever since, every day.

Horrible & Lovely - I like this one despite how plain and painfully vulnerable it is. There’s a magic to that.

It’s My Birthday - A modern love story.

Radical Pair - Prequel short story to a book I need to re-write, that was my first—in notebooks—long before I was writing from my subconscious flow.

Grip - HOT, dude. HOT. And it’s my whole heart in need of healing too. F-Zero racing league vibes.

Heavy Dope: A Saga of Cybernetic Justice - I still think this is one of the funniest short stories ever written.

The Princess Was in That Castle - Romantic Tragedy Poem

the underworld (Redux) - My schizophrenic breakdown begins! This was what happened to me in a waking vision at the beginning of my subconscious trying to tell me I was schizophrenic and would apparently, be fighting a demon for some time relating another person I had trauma with. It’s also how my subconscious stoked me up to deliver a letter.

The Grimoire - It’s a spaceship, dude.

Pure Magick - This is the saddest thing I can imagine anybody ever having to write. perchance

A Foot in the Door - My first short fiction story, other than screenplays.

Chains - Alchemy of spite. I once let AI write something just like this and betrayed my own intelligence in a way I wanted to atone for. It was before I began creatively writing. I told the person. But I still hate myself for not writing that myself.


Choice Essays


Ophelia’s Art World - my dream of a better future

Her Journey to Now - on growing up trans and closeted

What it Means to Love - an essay on the meaning of love

Why Nobody Trusts Anyone | Emotional Manipulation is Not What You Think It Is - let’s get real

We Are Demented and Holy - let’s unpack that


Meditations on YouTube


Meditation on Balance - Feminine & Masculine - Darkness & Light

The Space Inside Us - I did my best Mooji

Stand in the Truth of Love - I did my best me

Self-Healing Meditation - I teach baseline Reiki principles via visualization and instruction

Nourish Yourself with Exactly What You Need - Shamanistic self-exploration

Loving Your Unique Expression of the Universe - my favorite self-love meditation

Grounding Into Who You Are in the Moment - shamanistic exploration of connecting with your inner child, your future self, for radical acceptance of yourself in the now

The Spiritual Evolution of Humanity - join me at my timeless prayer tree for the future

Releasing What No Longer Serves Us - let go of attachment gently

Manifest from the Heart - connect with your future self and bring them into the now powerfully

Lay Down to Sleep - meditation for body rest

Stratosphere Meditation - video meditation for people who have trouble meditating


My meditations are also available on Insight Timer. Please sort by most recent.

Daphne Garrido at Insight Timer

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